The Normal but Not-So-Easy Child

Help Is Here for You & Your Troubled Child

"Dr. Hudson’s book uses current brain science and understanding of temperament to give parents, caregivers and teachers a practical, individualized guide to making relationships with children work. This is no one-size-fits-all method. Readers will learn how to identify and understand not only, what drives their children, but also what drives them, so that everyone can enjoy a calmer, richer, more rewarding family dynamic."

 – Betty Casey, editor, National Award-Winning Tulsa Kids Magazine; children’s book author and illustrator

If you’re a parent who has ever asked, “Why does my parenting seem so much harder than my best friends, neighbors, brother or my sisters’ experience,” you have found help! If you are struggling with "I love my child but hate parenting,” you have found the right book. If you are a grandparent or a teacher or a caregiver who has wondered, “How can I help this child who seems to be struggling?” you have found a source for help.

The goal of this book is assisting parents to teach their child to improve weak skills causing these dilemmas and maximize their chances for success.  The focus is on how new neuroscience explains your uniquely different child. The need for this book is evident in the statistics of how many children struggle with these issues and how little information is written for the parents to help them.  The earlier it is addressed the more can be accomplished.

You can buy   The Normal but Not So Easy Child   at Amazon.  It was written by a seasoned pediatrician, accomplished businessman and born story teller. It was written for parents who describe their child as: behaviorally challenged, high maintenance, demanding, high spirited, head-strong, difficult, troubled, temperamental and spoiled. Dr. Hudson calls these interesting kids the "not so easy child."  You can listen to an interview of Dr. Bob discussing his book at Public Radio Tulsa.

You will learn how a child’s brain is wired, how it integrates information and solves problems from math to social-emotional ones. These children may struggle with learning, to paying and sustaining attention, controlling impulses and emotions, ignoring distractions, switching gears to changed demands, working out social conflicts, persisting on tasks, planning and organizing, responding instead of reacting, and managing expectations.   They often suffer from meltdowns, lock-ups and poor choice making because of these weak skills. It is often reported as immaturity, being a boy, and going through a phase of a developmental slow down.

The truth is these children are suffering from a brain wiring glitch in need of a charge.  This is a very common variation and is the reason children are different. It occurs in a forty percent of children and varies in amplitude from a little to a lot. The good thing is that the causes can be improved; it is like teaching and strengthening a muscle.

struggling child meltdown

Why should you read this book?

Parenting books break down into five categories:

1.  Understanding specific diagnosis, ADHD, Autism, etc.
2.  Making parenting pleasant and your child happy.
3.  What to do when children misbehave or how to discipline.
4.  What to expect during pregnancy and the first few years?
5.  How to manage specific types of children: the difficult, strong-willed, explosive, challenging, defiant, sensitive, shy, impulsive, non-focused or distracted, etc.

This book touches on all the above with an emphasis on understanding your unique children and how to help them develop to the maximum of their skills. This book differs because the focus is the differences in children, not parenting or specific circumstances. How children are different and why is the main information of this book. The book helps parents build a plan to improve their child’s skill levels in very exact weak areas.  This is accomplished by helping the parent learn how to teach their particular and unique child the skills that cause them to struggle.

This manual on skill building is different than responding to behavioral circumstance or changing parenting style; those books may be valid, but those approaches are short term than long term. Teaching a child to solve a problem, any problem, removes the need for a parent to manage and imparts the skills for a successful life skill beyond the parent’s nurture. A long-term solution.

 When children struggle, misbehave, or make a poor choice, something is weak in this system of information retrieval, integration, and response. The goal of many of the past and current parenting books is better child behavior.  This is short-term and the solutions offered are often manipulative, temporary, and missing the long-term goal of this book: to prepare the child for the future with the best problem-solving skills possible.

This book embraces the neuroscience illuminated in the past twenty years.  It will explain how children’s behavior is driven by how their mind’s executive functions, direct their actions and how they integrate these functions of both behavior and learning. As technical as this information can be, Dr. Hudson has an easy, uncomplicated way of explaining these concepts in nonscientific common-sense terms.    

We will explore why do some kids sail through their childhood while others struggle. Why do some parents seem to have all the answers while others are at a loss to manage their children?   You can explore how to predict how your child will handle the challenges of growing up. Here is an excerpt from my book introduction:

not so easy child book

Most parents wonder and worry about their children’s future. Most would love to be able to predict how successful they will become. Most parents don’t think that prediction is possible, so they are left with only their hopes and beliefs in being a good parent to heal any ill. Current society believes that providing many opportunities for growth is another way to increase the odds of success.

Recent research has provided us with rich knowledge to help predict your child’s possibilities. These go far beyond hope and make predicting a part of our science and something that you can do with the help of the information in this book. Can you really predict which children will be easy and which ones will not? If you can predict, how good is that prediction and how early can you accomplish this fortune future telling? Can a parent really help their struggling child have success?

First, let’s explore what we have learned about children. Children are different; “Duh, Papa”, as my grandchildren would say. We all know that fact, but still cling to the belief that there is a universal way to parent all children. General parenting advice only works for the easy child. How many of you have an easy child? Most of us need to customize our parenting practices to fit our individual children and their needs.

The first section of the book is devoted to helping you accomplish this task. There are important variables that influence children’s inclinations, strengths, weaknesses, abilities, and competencies. Recognizing these skills can lead us to predilections for success or struggles, and exactly how you can help plan what your child needs to maximize her or his success throughout childhood, adolescence, and into adulthood.

Everyone knows the story of people who rise from poverty, a toxic family life, substandard education, and poor opportunities, but, despite all, succeed. We also have observed children with all the advantages who still struggle. For them, success seems always out of reach. Why? 
Some children are more resilient than others. Research shows that resiliency is staying afloat in the face of adversity. Children possess strengths that can promote well-being and protect them against the influence of risk factors. These protective factors create resilience and success in children. If one or all of the protective factors are weak, the child struggles.

These protective factors include positive temperament traits and executive functions; superior cognitive ability; and strong families, peer relationships, and fine schools.
Children must draw upon all their resources: temperament traits, cognitive skills, and environmental resources to successfully counter stress. The more positive the variables, the more resilient the child. Resilience leads to success; less resilience leads to struggles.  How can you predict if your child will have success or struggles?